Your Quiet Times Have Crippled You

I love reading my Bible. I love to sit at my desk, table, or in a comfortable recliner and stare at the paragraphs until I consider every detail. I love how things are linked in Scripture and how there are constant treasures to notice and enjoy. I cherish this. The pages are cold to the touch, the smell of “printed book” is deeply enjoyable, and with a pencil in hand I love to mark everything I can find in the Word of God.

The problem is my family. At least that’s how it use to feel. My wife wanted to have a conversation, my kids wanted to play, they wanted me to look at something, move something, eat something, go somewhere, and it never ended. Besides my family, I had to go to work every day.

More than this, my old pastor said I needed to spend time in the Word of God in order to get to know Him. He said if I don’t, I’d most likely end up in a cult wearing large earrings and trying to sacrifice pigs (I love bacon, so I think this may be a good alternative). I understand what he’s saying, though. A Christian has to read their Bible. The Bible is where God has revealed Himself, where truth is found, and where Christ is clearly seen.

My friend Mike said he knows he should read his Bible, but he never has time. I understand why he feels this way, and I know he’s not alone. Every Christian I ask about their reading time usually answers the same way: “I don’t have time.” I figure everyone is either going to have a lot of bacon in their future, or something needs to change.

Another topic Christians frequently discuss is “Quiet Time.” For most Christians, it’s considered the most sacred time. During Quiet Time, individuals set aside a specific period to be alone with God. However, the challenge lies in ensuring that everything else in life is completely silent, occupied, or absent. This requires a complete absence of noise and distractions.

I joke about my family being a problem because they love me, and I love them, but it’s never quiet. Despite this, there’s an overwhelming pressure to have quiet time. This pressure can be so intense that it often paralyzes individuals, leading to either sleep deprivation or giving up altogether. The latter is the most common outcome. I believe this is because, as I mentioned earlier, we have families and jobs that require our attention and energy, making quiet a rare occurrence in our lives.

Quiet times carry with them a sense of respect. It’s as though men and women think that because they’re alone with God, they’re better off. They’ll have a better study time, a better comprehension of what they’re reading, or they believe God notices it more than any other time.

I think this is because of the men and women who were before us. Men and women who were known as people of great discipline. Men who woke up before they went to bed in order to study scripture in every language, pray, and write amazing books. These men have done great things and helped us understand things that are hard to comprehend. They have paved wonderful roads for others to travel and enjoy. Christians in our day want to become that kind of man or woman. Whether this is to gain approval from God, which is probably an unspoken motive, or if they think God will use them more because of their devotion. There are many reasons, but the thing is—they don’t. Instead, they realize that they hate waking up early and they hate going to bed late. The average person becomes more stressed than holy.

This causes tension because how can I do the most important thing in life and still be available without killing myself? Why is the top priority a thing that’s the hardest to do? Many would say it’s because the enemy is a great force trying to stop them. They would say that their flesh must be mastered! But is this really the problem?

This tension often causes irritation and a willingness to consider, as I mentioned before, that other people are the problem to a Christian’s relationship with God. Many times the quiet time they wanted is disrupted or halted by another: Their family. Their neighbor. Their parents. Their friends.

But, is my family the problem? Are all these people a hindrance to a close relationship with God? It’s as though we either have to stop reading, never have time, or something else needs to be our priority.

A New Focus

If you’re a pastor, you are not the average person; you are a man who needs a deep study of Scripture. You have a duty to rightly divide the word of God to lead the sheep. This requires a lot of time and focus. If anyone should have a quiet time, it’s you. But let’s face it, even you are weighed down with the needs around you. You probably wonder at times, “How can I lead God’s people in the word when God’s people always need me?” This isn’t just a problem for the average person, but it’s a problem for everyone. Yet, being a pastor does make alone time a big priority.

Does this mean others can’t study scripture unless they’re a pastor? No, but how many actually study scripture when they have the time? Many say that they need a quiet time for personal study, but usually it never makes it that far.

Usually, the excuse only serves to conceal the fact that they genuinely don’t read their Bible at all. A quiet time becomes a pretext for blaming others. For instance, someone might say, “I would have had a quiet time this week, but the baby woke up,” or “I would have had a quiet time this week, but my wife wanted me to go to bed.” Consequently, the time becomes a burden rather than a blessing. The person is attempting to be someone they’re not because they have an idealized notion of what it means to be a Christian. They recognize that this idealized version is too demanding to sustain, so they give up and never read. Time and again, I’ve encountered individuals, their heads hung low, expressing their need to improve their reading of scripture and their quiet time practices.

Is it safe to say that you simply need a different approach? Could it be that acquiring alone time and quiet moments is usually challenging? Is it okay to say that you aren’t Jonathan Edwards, John Calvin, Martin Luther, or any other person you’ve labeled as a “super Christian”? Is it okay that you are just, you?

Can I tell you something? Your salvation isn’t built on the consistency or time window that you choose to read. Your salvation isn’t better or worse if you wake up before you go to sleep or if you never go to sleep at all. You say, “Well, then I’m never going to read. I’m never going to learn what the Bible says. I don’t believe this is accurate, and to be honest, you probably aren’t reading it anyway. You probably never have the time.

I think for most people, we need a different focus. We need a focus that isn’t self-centered, a focus that doesn’t require a perfect reading condition, and a focus that doesn’t make others a burden or enemy to our relationship with God. We need a focus that realizes we are, us. We have spouses. We have children. We have jobs. These are good things. Yet, if you’re like me, you’ve felt guilty for putting reading aside. You think that God is annoyed of you. I don’t think this is true. So, how can you and I read our Bible more without feeling like total losers?

Wasting Time

We have to be honest and ask ourselves hard questions. The first question is: Do we really have no time? I think for the most part our no time is just filled with wasted time.

The average person will probably get home between 4 and 6 from their job. This leaves 3 to 5 hours at home (if you go to bed early). Some people work nights and sleep during the day, while others stay home all day, but no matter the situation, there are a few hours of time to be used in whatever way we want. The question is how do we want to use it and how do we determine if we are wasting it?

If we needed a filter on how to choose to use our time, what would it be? The filter would have to give us a clear grip on our purpose (why I’m here), future (where I’m headed), and priority (what should I do). It would have to help us decide from day-to-day what was a distraction and what was important.

Well, we have that filter.

It’s what we call a Biblical Worldview.

To put it simply, it’s what we conclude as reality.

As a Christian, the world view briefly looks something like this:

Christ’s Work to Bring About Salvation: This is the filter that tells us how Christ came into the world in order to save us from our sin. We’re dead and unable to earn a right standing with God. Christ came to live a life that was pleasing to God, in our place, and died the death we deserved. He took the wrath of God on himself and in return, by faith in Christ and with repentance of our sin, he forgives us from past, present, and future sin. We get his life as a substitute for ours. More than this, God raised him from the dead, which means God approves of the whole thing. Our salvation isn’t based on our performance but on his. This filter simply shows us that we no longer do things to make us more or less pleasing to God (Example: a quiet time at 3 in the morning or a quiet time at 10 at night.) Christ’s work is our righteousness.

We Have Eternal Life: This means that the life we hold right now is passing away. It’s not our main existence. We will all die, but through faith in Christ, we will only fall asleep. We will be with Christ forever. This filter shows us clearly what our value system should look like. We don’t need to worry about keeping our life or about getting wrapped up in the values of this world because we know it’s not going to last.

Gods Glory and Sovereignty: In all of this, we are made for God’s glory. He alone is the hero. We are not our own and we are made to serve and love a great God who made us. He alone orchestrates where we exist and our responsibilities. Some men were meant to carry the weight of discovering truths for future generations and some men are meant to lead only their families in truth. Both are important, but neither man is better than the other. Rather, both are uniquely placed by God for his glory.

Through these three filters it becomes clear what is wasting time, where we should set our focus, and what pressure we should place on ourselves.

Make It For Everyone

Let’s consider then how we can handle this unending battle of a time to read and if a quiet time is the ultimate priority. Maybe we can loosen up this pressure and guilt we feel as we live our lives that are everything but quiet. Maybe we can actually be men and women who have time to read.

Here’s how it works:

1. Be Honest/No Need For Guilt: You wake up. You’re a stay at home mom who homeschools and has endless responsibilities around the house. The first thing you need to do is breathe. You need to be honest with yourself, quiet times aren’t happening most mornings. Does this mean you are worthless and heading to hell? Nope. This means you need to go back to our filters and breathe. God knows you’re a mom, He did everything for you to be right with him, and your approval is only based on that alone. So stand up tall, get them kids breakfast, feed that baby, and let’s see how we can get you reading.

2. Your kids Need Your Quiet Time: While everyone is eating, pull out the Bible and start reading out loud. Here’s your quiet time. Don’t read a lot. It can be a paragraph. Just pick a book and start reading. Your kids need your quiet time. Let’s face the facts, kids don’t like to sit and listen while we read. They interrupt a lot. They get up to go to the bathroom a lot. You know something? If that happens, it’s okay. Don’t get wrapped up in it and become frustrated. Just wait. After they’re done eating wait for another opportunity. Listen, God knows you have kids. He gave them to you for his glory. So, fill their little minds all day with little drops of scripture. You need it and they need it.

Bath times are especially a great time to read. If your kids are small, sit on the toilet and read to them. Not a lot. Just a paragraph or whatever feels right. Your kids need your quiet time. Do you see how simple this is? My coworker used to tell me, “The main thing is not to panic.” So, now I tell you, let your kids be free, read to them every moment you find, embrace your quiet time, and don’t panic.

3. At Work: This one is easy and yet greatly ignored. Read on your lunch break. This is your quiet time. Listen on your way to work. This is your quiet time. Instead of social media, read a Bible app. Put away sports, social media, YouTube, if it’s taking up all of your time and attention throughout your day.

4. Night Time: Dad and Mom come home, food needs to be made, baths need to be taken, and quiet time is unfathomable. Again, read when you are eating. Take the time you have. After you are done eating, turn off the television and tell your family you are going to read one chapter of the Bible before they go to bed. Get out candy. Get popcorn ready. Buy your kids a juice. Make this quiet time fun. Ask questions and then give your kids treats for answering. You aren’t a bad parent for giving your kids treats before bed. Your family needs sweet things and they need your quiet time.

5. Whenever Possible Read And Talk About Scripture: What’s going to happen if you do this is that you will learn the Bible. You will know the Bible. Your spouse will know the Bible. Your children will know the Bible, and quiet times will happen every moment of the day. More than this, everyone will reap the benefits. Everyone will have what they wanted. Everyone will read. You may find that here and there you will be able to sit down with no distractions. Enjoy that time. Dig deeper in those moments, but don’t rely on them as your only option. They’re not. I think that a hyper focus on one style has really kept many in a place where they are convinced they aren’t disciplined and this has turned into complacency and guilt. I don’t want this for any of you. If a quiet time doesn’t work, then make it a loud time. Read the Bible in the wild while your kids want to laugh, while your wife wants to chat, and watch how much more you learn from your company. Watch how much deeper your conversations go. Watch your kids ask to read instead of you. You have time, I promise.

Use Your Time Wisely

Consider the filters above. Consider what you do most of the day. We have so much time, but we waste it. The guilt of not having a quiet time is unnecessary. You don’t need that as a priority. What you need is to have the word of God everywhere in your life. To make it the center of your mornings with your family, the play times with your kids, the meal times, the car times, the bath times, and the night times. It doesn’t take much to say, “Let’s read a paragraph quickly and talk about it.” Nobody will be interrupted, nobody will be sleep-deprived, nobody will feel guilty that they haven’t read, nobody will feel like their family and friends are a stumbling block in their relationship with God. You know why? Because everyone needs your quiet time, not just you.

Whether you're a pastor, stay-at-home mom, grandma, grandpa, mom, dad, single, married, have kids, no kids, it doesn’t matter. We need less alone time and more intentional time. So, go. Go read with whoever is around you and let me know how it goes.

Cling to Christ!